School of Wisdom – Relationship with a married man.
Hello, I want to tell about your problem, you can something advise me.
My name is Svetlana, I’m 39 years old, I have a daughter 15 years. I got married in claim 21, my husband began from the very first days, I was not the wife he wanted, he said that the way you are I don’t need you, and I tried and tried to please him, doing all that was in my power, and unable, too, but I heard in his address, only the accusations of insult and humiliation, and then it came to blows.
I gradually turned into a downtrodden, scared, worn-out, trembled at every sound, afraid his panic, all thoughts were directed only to please him, nor himself to anyone, only him, and he had not noticed, looked down on me with disdain, I didn’t want to come home when it was not, it was for my daughter and great happiness, finally left me alone, I thought.
It came to the hospital, I got sick, nervous system passed, then I realized that if I don’t go, I will die. I took daughter left everything and went to his mother. To my surprise, he called me back to say that he loves me that everything will be different.
I believed them and went back, but after a while all was again still, and again I did the same thing, he was waiting for me thought that I would return, but at the thought, I began to shake.
Then I learned that he was cheating on me constantly, etc. I don’t blame him, we just didn’t know how to love and grow our love. I am grateful to him for his daughter and the lessons in life.
Now my now ex-husband is trying to write me out of the apartment and the daughter, with her he’s not speaking at all. And in my soul, a kind of emptiness, fatigue. Now I live with my mom and brother and daughter, cramped of course, but still better than it was there, I would like to have their homes, but so far it’s not really.
A year and a half ago I met a man, a very good, wise and kind man, my heart was beginning to thaw, I fell in love with this man, trusted him, and then I find out he’s married, I’m used to it, I’m nice and relaxed with him, but hurt by the fact that he’s married.
Would like to live with him, to give him our love, as the saying goes, a good heart and pure thoughts, but I am ashamed before his wife, I understand what it’s like when your husband no longer sees her as a woman, but to part with him at the moment, no power, I cannot extinguish my love for him.
I’m afraid to talk to him about the prospect of our relationship with him. I understand it is convenient for him to live like nothing has changed in my life and if I leave him, he will not rush into the arms of his wife, but maybe my conscience will be clean.
I seemingly have to start with a clean slate. Read the books Pravdina, Nekrasova, L. hay. Like all know, but in the minds did not understand what to do, please help me.
Yes, it’s hard to say something to the man when he says: “Like all know, but in the minds did not understand what to do, help me please”.
These words said by people who are unwilling to work on themselves. It is not willing! Because with the ancient wisdom of the famous: “Knocking, yeah.. And these people are trying to soften surrounding his “hard life”. These people filled the hospital – they love to hurt! They love to feel sorry for them and treated others, and themselves…
I do not pity you, dear gods! If you have everything you need for a happy life, I wish to suffer – well, it’s your choice. Everything is in Your mind and the life that you live is what you want! To be honest now and admit this.
I don’t need to admit it you need! Stop lying to yourself and others that you suffer because of that and because. You suffer only because of your laziness! Now you have everything in order not to suffer a lot of knowledge for every taste – just apply!
Everything seems to be okay, but still, most continue to suffer. Why? Admittedly, there are a lot of people, blessed with a talent of creating your own little personal hell, and some very brilliant individuals manage to your hell to involve huge masses of people, entire Nations… And behold, the result of such efforts for many thousands of years, the misfortune has become an epidemic, affecting all continents and all peoples.
Let’s take an honest look at their life and their loved ones, and try to see the tools, technologies and techniques that help people become unhappy. Maybe for someone it would be a good school to create an even more miserable life. And someone, maybe, will finally get tired of being miserable and he will choose another way?
For example, let’s start with the physical body of man. Here’s what you can do to the body was ill and miserable to quickly grow old and have lived less years:
• eat everything and as much as possible;
• not to move and try loading not all but only a few muscles;
• trust in medicine, as often as possible to visit doctors and as much as possible to swallow tablets and other drugs;
• as little as possible to pay attention to the body: SuperCool it, lie in the Sun until the redness and engage in other self-harm;
• drinking more alcohol and Smoking;
• spare 15 minutes a day to “stretch bone”;
• tell others about their illnesses so that you regret;
• sex be excluded from your life or if much will stick, then reluctantly agree to perform her wifely duties);
• and etc.
Here’s what you can do to the psyche was useless:
• as much as possible to deceive yourself and is located in the illusions of your life;
• as many be offended, and it is desirable at all and as often as possible, and even better – always be offended!
• as much as possible to be upset and on any trifle;
• specially not to notice the joy in life;
• to avoid to give love and under various pretexts to escape from sexual relations;
• try all the time to be tense, sharp, categorical;
• as little as possible to smile, to try to save the smart and serious facial expression;
• never be forgiven, as long as I can remember the evil, and not to go first for conciliation;
• parting with a loved one, you need to kill love, “remove him from the heart,” and it is desirable to bring the situation to hatred;
With the help of his consciousness life can turn into hell! For example, in this way:
• never to change their life principles, but it is better to be a fan of his worldview: his attitude to politics, to religion and other teachings, to family, to children…
• share all the good and evil, good and bad, and it is desirable to actively fight evil, to destroy it by all available means;
• preferably as hard as possible to turn around a system of values, for example, in the first place to put a dog or a cat, or a job. Especially high guarantees miserable life gives you, when in the first place put the child;
• to devote as much effort, time and funds for career education, foreign languages, spiritual practices, visits to Holy places and to the Teachers and to avoid to learn to love and build relationships with people;
• to believe that everything is determined and that can live as much as defined;
• more ask and demand from neighbors, the state, God’s care, attention, health, love and especially money!
• not to think about the meaning of life, try and do not know why all this is going on, why you’re creating a family. Not to delve into understanding the causes of events to believe that everything happens by chance or by the will of God”;
• as often as possible to use the word “mine”. Especially useful for the misery to call your own child and husband (wife);
• avoid the freedom and honesty in the relationship and to avoid even talking about it. Lies in communication with yourself is the most effective way to make your life miserable;
• try to impose their views and their Outlook to their loved ones and the people around them, they seek to enlighten, to teach, to make to live the way you want. Especially helps to create a miserable life is to get kids to do what you want to study what you think you need, but moreover to marry;
• try to live by the laws, regulations, morality and order in life was more ordinary;
• as often as possible to call his family by marriage, and she soon will conform to this title;
• try not to read “smart” books, and more detectives and simple romance novels, watch a lot of horror movies and soap operas, and as little as possible to ponder serious questions;
• it is useful to look for someone to blame the parents, relatives, husband or wife), in the state…
Here’s a voluminous answer to Your question, Svetlana. Create and further their misery – I’ve given You enough techniques. You chose a difficult path in life to be unhappy it’s always harder!