Levels of communication
The interlocutor sets up the contact, not really worrying how adequately and correctly you will accept it. Drunk unabashedly confesses unfamiliar person on the bus. The interviewee prefers to talk more than listen, he doesn’t care about the birth of own feelings in others. Similar can also be observed when dealing with the bureaucratic system or rude seller. Note
that vocabulary such people are usually quite scarce; the speech rate is excessively fast, because the only goal is to overwhelm you, to bewilder; and communication with you as to the conversation with a chair where you now sit, i.e. no. Your appeal to this interlocutor should be directed to temper his zeal, do not raise the tone, speak slowly. If you show courtesy, but it will be hard and even rigid in his address, it will be difficult to respond to this aggression. The humor on your part would be appropriate only in the case that will not be affected by personal characteristics, though some no, but your interlocutor. Usually the main mistake people do is that they use not the level of communication required in a particular situation. For example, too often well-educated people try to talk friendly with the bullies and confidentially, of course, do not. Be tough and even rude when needed. The humor would be appropriate only in the case that will not be affected by personal characteristics of bullies.
The person on this level of communication is perceived as a tool to achieve certain purposes, such level of communication is an integral part of many professions (the diplomat, sales Manager). Often manipulation is required for some household processes (wife indirectly gives her husband to understand that she has nothing to wear, forcing him thus on their own to buy a new coat). Often manipulation is characterized by imitation – interest, courtesy. Threats and flattery, too, are extreme forms of manipulative communication. Manipulative level can wear the mask of any of the other levels. To recognize manipulation is possible by the total of strangeness of the situation, for example, a person all appearance defined as a native primitive type of communication, speaking spiritually-confidence level.
Interlocutor attentive to your personal views, tastes, he draws attention to your character, age. Unifying your goal determines your relationship – so this is not a manipulation (however, a competent player can easily combine several levels of communication, based on his goals). Business level communication in everyday life is applicable to the people with whom it is necessary to observe a certain distance. Efficiency – it is also a conscious, serious perception of the interlocutor, so this level of communication in some way is applicable not only in business to business relations.
In family life, this level will avoid primitive contacts. For example, the dispute over washing dishes in the family will be settled faster if you solve this problem at the business level communication.
– I tired to wash the dishes five times a day!
“I don’t get tired when every day I go to work?
This is a wrong formula of conduct, the problem is not solved, contact occurs at a primitive level, the level of purely personal emotions. The right formula will be the following behavior.
– I tired to wash the dishes five times a day!
– I understand you, but I’m also a daily walk to work. Let’s make a deal, I’ll wash the dishes on the weekend when I’m free. Or, if you want we can plan a schedule, and to alternate odd and even numbers.
The level of communication based on improvisational forms that may be frivolous, humorous, even grotesque. So, a few buddies, animatedly talking and joking, I dont see how to build a long enough chain of logic. Flirting women – also one of the brightest examples of communication on the level of mutual games.
This level of communication is directly linked with the sense of humor, he is very important for any informal relationships. For example, family relationships are unlikely to be sufficiently harmonious and constantly updated without mutual play and humor.
It happens that people with a certain type of character and temperament used game level in conversations that require a different level of communication. Does not mean that these people are not capable of serious action, it’s just a consequence of a certain kind of mentality. Such people belong to the psychological type of hypertime (cheerful, energetic people). By the way, if we are overly annoying like optimists, maybe it is worth considering whether or not we are serious about life?
The name indicates that this level of communication is characterized by the highest degree of disclosure of their identity and immersion in the personality of the interlocutor. This level sometimes requires considerable effort, which not everyone can. The spiritual level of communication is used by some especially close relatives and friends. Confession to a priest, sincere story about yourself will certainly require a particularly deep spiritual level of communication.
A special feature of the spiritual level of communication is unhurried pace of speech, which is a special trust relationship to the interlocutor, to communicate with him.
Situation: She shows Him the book of his school of poetry, and He, instead of showing interest, releases the remark: “I thought you about something serious.” This model of behaviour is totally wrong. She offers Him communicate on a spiritual level, He takes it on the primitive level of business. “Hmm, and you’ve got a good sonnets” – have to say it.
Everyone can consist of many masks. The person necessarily puts on a mask of friendliness, seriousness, politeness, because sometimes it’s psychologically impossible to invest in communication all their mental resources, charm. You should also consider the contacts not only verbal – none the less we are faced with someone with just a look, silently shaking someone’s hand, it also takes energy, and we are protected with the help of masks.
Note that when you say not quite sincere compliment, you wear a mask, so as not to get injured from their own insincerity. The notion of a lie is directly related to the system of masks. At the level of masks and also includes the concept of “Formal level”, “level of contact”, “Level standard of conversation” (Bugental). The formal level is characterized by the maintenance of certain impressions and maintaining a certain distance. Level of contact – communication of people in a more relaxed manner, communication at the level of facts and opinions. The standard level of conversation is a daily dialogue between friends and acquaintances.
If necessary, use masks, sometimes your true mood is not necessary to show the interlocutors, as any deviation from the norm can be interpreted in a wrong way. Your bad temper when dealing with a client, or your overly elated at the funeral are not quite appropriate.
It should be noted that constant communication with the mask very often interfere with the manifestations of the self. Suppose if it is appropriate to be polite and discreet on the street, you in dealing with your beloved, friends it will be even dangerous.
Communication in critical situations
There is also a special level of communication in a critical situation. Such situations contribute to the removal of masks, more fruitful subjective contact, joint decision-making.
The faster a person is able to determine at what level you need to communicate with someone, the more successful will be the contact. To determine at what level of conversation happens far too often, however, the dress and manners of a man – the first thing that you should consider. When Dating it is best to start a conversation in a mask of restrained politeness, moderately open and friendly, but not in any way neither familiarity nor sullen isolation. A very important point handshake. It should be neither flabby nor to the person popped a bone – do not set a goal in advance to suppress the communication partner. Women’s hands better not to press, although this is done quite often, better to have a slight bow of the head.
Of course, communication is an extremely challenging research task. However, we should not look at the problem of communication from the pages of scientific publications about psychology, perhaps you should think about what to communicate – it’s also just nice!