Tatiana Lazareva from nipples to grow candy
The narrator of “This is my child!” the three children – Stephen (14 years old), Sonja (10 years) and Antonina (3 years, 11 months). Tatiana talks about typical problems and mistakes in their upbringing.
The child does not waive nipples
Our Antonina almost 4 years. She is emotional and long used a pacifier as a cure for stress. Falls, bumps, upset – a pacifier in his mouth. Tried to
reason with her, but she no arguments were not listened to. I had to think of something. And one beautiful day here at the cottage persuaded Mistaken all three nipples bury it under a Bush. Convinced: they’re sure something will grow. Tosya bravely threw two nipples into the pit. Long stood, holding a favorite – with the monkey. But then decided. We quickly began to dig a hole, afraid that she might change my mind. That evening Sonya hung on the Bushof the stockpiled red lollipops in the form of a nipple. I Tosya said: “Go and see, maybe, something rose…” Find the candy, the daughter was delighted. Later, however, two weeks sometimes even asked for a pacifier, but we said “Sorry, no turning back, and giving away…”
In this respect, most of the problems were with Stepa. Seeing an unfamiliar product, it was determined the attitude towards him in appearance. Somehow with difficulty persuaded him to try the shrimp. Steve, making an effort, shoved it in her mouth, and five seconds later he started retching. More such experiments on children I did not and do not advise others. A friend told me how she in the childhood went with a pork cheek, then discreetly spit it out. So benefit from such parental diktat still not enough.
Sits at the computer
The sooner your child will learn the computer, the better – in the future it would still need. We do all kids have laptops, even Antonina bought child. Sonia is already in three years was able to control the “mouse”. Deny nothing, just do not leave your child alone with the monitor for a long time and is interested in what he does. Our Stepan like to communicate in social networks. We held a conversation with him, speaking about the social phobia – people who avoid personal contact. He pushed his argument: “In the chat I can meet with any, ask where he’s from and his name. And if you approach and ask on the street, and in the face to give”. I responded: “You’re a big boy, when it is necessary and in the face start to get!” Here we have a debate!
Loves harmful products
“McDonald’s” is allowed once a month. And we never decoration this trip as a holiday, so kids don’t have any Association – “McDonald’s” = the feast. We stop there on the way somewhere, when you need a quick meal. Chips under a terrible ban is allowed no more than once a week. Consumption of candy, too controlled.
‘t want to go to school
Here we must be careful to distinguish moods from serious problems. School, where Stepan went to the first class, we had in the yard. I’m in the window saw the children walk: all play together, and four people standing alone at different angles. One of these four was Stepan. At first I didn’t pay attention to it. Then he began to notice: Stepa has changed. The house became angry, nervous, aggressive. Went to the teacher. She said: “At school he is an angel! Smiles all the time”. I understand, Stepan forced myself to smile at school and at home, the spring was loose. On the advice of a psychologist, we arranged Stepa additional day off during the week. And everything seems to be normal. But in third grade he began to cry in the morning: “don’t wanna go to school!” Started to get sick often – it was a defensive reaction. Then we put him on two years to home schooling. All right now, Stepan is an adult and goes to a normal school.
Somehow the little Dormouse said: “Mom, when I grow up, money will not give you”. I replied: “then you And I now will not have anything to give.” Worked. Stepa we do hoarder. Even the garbage is a pity to throw out, to collect a package, and then he had a long time standing. Although the family has taken the extra stuff to give to charity. Children initially resisted, saying, “How is it? That’s mine!” I explained: “You’re not wearing them, and someone this garment can be very useful in future”.
Once Sonia had skipped school and didn’t tell us about it. Went out this morning ostensibly to school, and you didn’t come home with a girlfriend. Absenteeism I learned from a teacher. The worst for me was not even the fact of absenteeism, and the fact that Sonia that day called me and said, “I’m okay, I’m in school.” He seriously talked to her. Banned during the month to invite girlfriends and walking towards him, still forbidden to ride the subway to the end of the year. Less than two weeks, I said, “son, well let you girlfriend coming in this weekend”. The daughter said: “Mom, you’re punishing me!” I said, “Yes? And I already forgot…” Actually, I do not know how to punish and don’t like, but sometimes a child needs a shake-up.
Jealous mom and dad to the younger brother (or sister)
When Sonia was born Stepa was very jealous. We are to blame Misha – took him a piece of parental attention. No we was not advised that do not. Well, I’m on time guessed. Stepa was freaking night, I came to him, he took me by the hand and asked: “do You love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?” I understand what it means. Stepan began to doubt whether it is necessary to us if we brought home that hideous screaming creature. And when born Tosca, I said to the elder: “We gave him another one, and this is our problem, you will not”. At bedtime, I was sitting in the queue every child in the room. With Stepa to talk, Sonya back to scratch, then go to sleep Oh…
Asks awkward questions
In any case, not to answer, “go away!” But to the other extreme – too much detail to explain everything to fall. If a child asked where babies come from, don’t need to tell you about the egg and the sperm, the possibility of abortion. Suffice it to say that kids mom gives birth.
Smokes on the sly
I think we are not at risk! If Sonia sees me with a cigarette, she immediately begins to lecture about the dangers of Smoking. Or pinches the nose and runs away. Stepan all the time lamented that the children sell cigarettes. I didn’t believe it. So he conducted an experiment: go to a stall and bought. Came back and in a shaky voice said, “Mom, what can we do? I cigarette not needed, but because any child can sell! We have to fight it!” Stepan suggested that he secretly filmed him selling cigarettes.
Do not trust the opinion of parents
Recently I said Stepa that for his height he is very thin. The son began to shout: “do You mean that I was fat?” Two days later, he returns from school and says, “Mom, you were right. One authoritative person said that I need to get some better.” I tried to pry the name of this “authority”, then using it to influence Stepan! This is a normal way. If you see that my children some lovely people, you can ask him to convey to them the right idea.
Grows on you parents
Such things often happened when she was a little sleepy. We were going to work, and she had some wild scandal. Had to promise that we would return with a gift. Every evening Sonia met us with a question: “A gift?” I think this is the wrong solution to the problem. With Tosya we do easier. Say: “You love toys? Do you know how much they cost? My dad must go to work to earn money and to buy you toys.” Most importantly, speak calmly and confidently, and leave without looking back!
Convinced that parents have a right to some freedom. He can sometimes send the kids with nannies to the country, and to embark on a “spree” with friends. Or go away alone to relax. Of course, the kids are upset. Trying to bring back from each trip that the gift he wanted. Texting-call back a hundred times a day, so that children don’t feel abandoned. But if there is no separation from children, after all, and the joy of nowhere to tackle!
Saturday, STS, that’s my baby!
Photo Rifat UNICOV, fotobank Agency, PersonaStars, PhotoXPress, archive “Telesem”
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